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Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries

  • telling all
  • talking at an intimate level on the first meeting
  • falling in love with a new acquaintance
  • falling in love with anyone who reaches out
  • being overwhelmed by a person; preoccupied
  • being sexual for partner, not self
  • going against personal values or rights to please others
  • not noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries
  • not noticing when someone invades your boundaries
  • accepting food, gifts, touch, sex, that you don't want
  • touching someone without asking
  • taking as much as you can get for the sake of getting
  • giving as much as you can give for the sake of giving
  • allowing someone to take as much as they can from you
  • letting others direct your life
  • letting others describe your reality
  • lettings others define you
  • believing others can anticipate your needs
  • expecting others to fill your needs automatically
  • falling apart so someone will take care of you
  • self abuse
  • sexual and physical abuse
  • food abuse
Why Victims Stay 
  •  fear of harm to the victim or the children or other family members
  • love, loyalty, guilt, fear of retaliation, fear of being alone
  • fear of not finding a way to make a living
  • belief that their children need a father in the home
  • belief that the abusing partner cannot survive without her-  the abusive partner may threaten to kill himself if she leaves